Golden Nuggets: Peer Tutoring Part I Stand By Me and The Legend of Zelda!

There was an excellent movie from the 1980’s called “Stand By Me.” 1986 to be exact. The plot is that the protagonist is writing his memoirs and tells the story of him and friends one summer as they go on a quest to find a dead body (!). It’s one of my favorite movies and it came to mind because I’ve been thinking about my childhood friends a lot lately. 

Happy National Mentoring Month! National Mentoring Month is an annual campaign celebrated in January, dedicated to raising awareness about the power and impact of mentoring. It’s a time to recognize and honor the contributions of mentors while encouraging individuals to become mentors themselves. 

Now for the elephant in the room. Why do a blog entry on the LAST day of National Mentoring Month? Well, mainly because EVERY month is mentoring month to me! 

But also, because January tends to be a busy month for me. Not only do you have the New Year Holiday, but I also tutor and mentor through the winter break with the kids in my programs. January also happens to be the month I was born! 

“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” That’s the iconic last line that Wil Wheaton, the actor playing the character Gordie LaChance, utters at the end of the movie as he remembers what happened that Summer… events he hadn’t thought about for years!

Like the author in Stand By Me, this birthday has me thinking about events I hadn’t thought of in years. Especially this being National Mentoring Month. You see, one’s friends and peer groups often become a mentor of sorts as we grow up and come of age. Much of what we learn through this relationship can influence and affect us for the rest of our lives! 

What do I mean? 

Well, let’s define what a mentor is first. According to Google’s English Dictionary provided by Oxford Languages, a mentor is both a noun,  “an experienced and trusted adviser,” and a verb: “advise or train (someone, especially a younger colleague).”

So, from the standpoint of getting advice, or being trained, we can see how the ways in which our peers influence us can definitely be a form of mentoring. This is in all kinds of areas, from fashion and what to wear, attitudes toward sex, music choice, use of drugs, etc. etc. 

It’s important that, per the definition above, we as adults make sure that we are the experienced and trusted adviser to our youth, and monitor the messages that our children are getting from their peers! You see, youth mentoring youth can be positive, or negative…

As an example, as my recent birthday passed, I’ve been thinking about some of my old childhood friends, some of whom are still in my life. But one memory I haven’t thought of for ages (pun intended!) involved one of my dearest childhood friends that I don’t have as close a contact as I had back in the day. This was back in late middle school, early high school and Nintendo Corp was revolutionizing the video game industry! Gone were the 8-bit Atari games, with one button and one joystick controller. Now came the 16-bit, Nintendo games with the controllers that had twice as many buttons, and directional pads, and other ways to control and move characters! 

Long story short, we used to share games, so my buddy gave me this game, “The Legend of Zelda,” a game about a brave warrior named Link, who was on a quest to save the title character, Princess Zelda! 

Now, these games were a far cry from Atari! There were a million different things you could do, and you definitely needed the manual that came with the game (which we didn’t have!) and sometimes even the more extensive manual you could buy at the store to give you tips on how to complete the game! This was of course before the emergence of the internet, and twitch and youtube and message boards, etc. where you can get this kind of info!

So what we did, me and my Buddy, John, we would be on the phone for hours (!) and he would lead me around the game. Telling me what to do, where to go and how to do it when I got there! This was when there were no cell phones, just landlines. My buddy, leading me step by step! You see, Link had all different kinds of weapons! And there were hidden items and entrances/exits that you had to have and go through in order to complete the different levels.

This stands out in my mind because I remember thinking then, and now, that there was no way I could have made any progress without him helping me! He had beaten the game before so he could help me in ways I could never imagine! Without him, I would have been given up out of sheer frustration! 

Now a confession: even with his help, I still didn’t finish the game! Even with him helping me, it was a time consuming process. I liked, and still do like to this day, doing a variety of things in my spare time, like reading, so, although it was fun, I eventually thanked him and gave him the game back. The memory stands out though, because I remember just marveling about how much he knew and remembered about the game, without even having it in front of him! And how he was able to help me so much! I also remember how much fun we had… and how good I felt when I did complete certain levels and milestones…even though I never finished the game!

I file that under a positive peer mentoring experience. Because he had completed the game, he could give me advice on how to accomplish what he had done! And that’s mentoring in a nutshell! Positive peer mentoring can also be found in sports, academics, social life and more! But there are other instances where it can be not so positive, and in fact downright fatal!

So, as National Mentoring Month ends, I’d like to say let’s be sure that we are ensuring the best, most positive mentoring experiences for our youth by being intentional about doing so!

Join me for my next blog entry where I’ll talk about a less positive peer mentoring experience… or lack thereof!

And this Blog is dedicated to my dear childhood friend John Patterson, Jr. I know we don’t hang out like we used to, but I heard you’re doing well! And if, when, you read this, I just want you to know that I appreciate all the cool experiences we had back in the day, I’m proud of you, and keep doing well! Love you, Bro. 

‘Til next time remember! It takes a village to raise a child!