How Do You Deal With Hardship?

In the back of my mind, I was brainstorming for months about the topic of my first blog post. I wanted to share some of what I've learned and experienced from my close to 15 years of working with young people as a certified teacher and as a case manager in the social services sector with those in the community who care to listen.

One of the young men I've worked with over the past three years came to me to help him edit and turn in a paper that was due recently. The topic was, dealing with adversity. In the process of helping him revise the draft he was turning in, I read his paper and was blown away by it's insight and power. You see, even though I had worked with him these past few years, this paper showed that I didn't really KNOW him. At least not what struggles he was going through. This well-written essay stood out to me because I think that no matter what profession a person may be in, but especially so for those working in youth and community education programs, it's important to remember that those people we see everyday, whether they're children OR adults, may be going through something that, if we only knew about it, would go a LOOOOONG way towards us understanding why that person may be acting the way they act, think the way they think or feel they way they feel.

I have withheld the name to protect this young man's identity, but he's a high school student on the West Side of Chicago, a young black male and really a good young man. Since his freshman year, he's come a long way. While he still has some growing to go, I believe that this piece shows that he's matured a lot, in experience and understanding. So, without further ado, here is his story in his own words:

"It's funny how you can go from doing so well to just sinking and failing to the bottom. I understand life goes on but sometime we humans need breaks, to just recover from the things that we are going through. I bring you to this point because last year my mom had lost her job and was out of work. This was a big setback, like she couldn't pay any bills. So the lights was going out and stuff.

Soon we got evicted and I went to stay with a cousin. This didn't do my education any good. I had got caught up in trying to make money in order to just survive. I forgot about school. Also, there was a lot of school work that required using computers outside of school. I didn't have access to computers and my transportation was limited. So I ended up failing a couple of classes my sophomore year.

I felt bad, beaten up, but I kept pushing. I kept telling myself I'll never let it happen again. But trust me there was plenty of times I felt like just brushing everything off. But I remember that feeling and turnt that feeling into motivation. This caused me to stay on track more. I started doing better things like joining B.A.M. (Becoming A Man).

How do you deal with hardship? I deal pretty well with hardship. I mean I had to adjust to it. What qualifies as a challenge or setback in my life and world is not having a stable home. It's so hard to go on with life knowing you basically having to depend on someone else. Are you the kind of person who can rebound and turn every experience, good and bad, into one from which you can learn something?

The experiences that illustrate this quality is the the experiences of when I failed classes my sophomore year. I learned from those experiences to go out and seek help earlier. Overall I had to learn that you only can blame yourself for what goes on and hold yourself accountable. that's when you will reach your full potential. Not when you blame your teacher, living conditions and more. So yeah, me going through this setback helped me see that time and life don't wait on nobody. This made me take things more serious like due dates and things because time doesn't wait. Also, this setback made me feel mixed emotions. I had lost myself. I had to figure out how do I go on after this setback, like what steps to take. I didn't know if I should move forward or shut down. But I recovered from it. I use that to make me stronger. "

There's so many gems and nuggets in that essay! Especially the last one. Read this over and over (I know I will!) and please share it with someone you think can use an uplifting message (everybody!!)

We have everything we need within ourselves to achieve our goals. So let's persevere, not be too hard on ourselves (or our neighbors) and extend kindness and understanding towards our fellow man (and woman :). And maybe take the time to get out of our heads and listen to other people's stories

Alright! First blog done! More to come soon :)

Remember, my friends! Time waits for no man...or woman. So Carpe Diem! SEIZE THE DAY!"

#Mentoring #Tutoring #Teaching #Chicago #Community #Programs #Education #Motivation #Adversity #Victory