Kids, Thanksgiving & Last Meals

Inmates on Death Row are typically granted a last meal. Prison cooks on staff will literally prepare any request that is made. The prisoner knows what day, down to the time, when and where their last meal will be. To be honest, it’s probably not as bad as one might think. I imagine by that time, they’ve pretty much come to grips with their situation and are resigned to their fate. That being the case, they probably reflect on their memories and history with their favorite meal and savor every bite, knowing it will be their last. I don’t believe their regular meals are all that great, so they probably even look forward to and greatly anticipate this final meal!

The reality is, every day is somebody’s last meal. Every Thanksgiving is somebody’s last Thanksgiving. Unlike those unfortunate souls on Death Row, we don’t really know when our last meal will be, where it will be, or who it will be with. We don’t know when will be the last time we’ll get to sit down with our loved ones and break bread.

This Thursday will be Thanksgiving and with the Covid pandemic gripping the world, we’ll have an opportunity to sit down and enjoy dinner with our family and loved ones. At least to some degree. Even though city and state officials have recommended virtual gatherings in lieu of the traditional family gatherings, many families will still have the chance to sit down and eat together.

But what will we do with this opportunity?

I remember growing up in the projects, my mom, dad, sister and I would always eat dinner together, especially on holidays. We didn’t have a lot of money or material things, but we were rich with love. Looking back, those are still some of my fondest, most cherished memories to this day. We would talk, laugh, enjoy a good meal, and just be happy being with each other. .

I’m afraid nowadays, that’s not the case for far too many families. Children, especially, are allowed to just grab a plate and immediately go back to their rooms. Probably to get on a video game, social media or look at tv and videos. If they are made to sit at the table, it’s only for a second, and their face is stuck on their cell phones or tablets. They rarely talk, and if asked a question, a short answer is given and the conversation quickly stalls then dies. And what’s worse, many adults aren’t taking charge and making being present at the family meal a priority and important. They have their face stuck in their phones too, or looking at tv. They aren’t present either. Soon, the meal ends, the holiday ends, and an opportunity is lost.

I’ve spoken before about paradigms, habits and their effect on our children. Let me ask you a question: what eating habits are your children or the youth around you getting from you? Like most habits, or paradigms, we get from our childhood, they’ll stick around forever, unless we change them.

Let me get to the point: I think that adults should set the paradigm, early in a child’s life, that dinner means sitting down at a set time every day, eating nutritious food, and being fully present with every one there. Put the phone down. Turn the tv off. Take an interest in everybody there and what’s going in their life. Learn how to speak clearly and answer questions intelligently. Learn to listen to the elders and find out about the family history. Set positive expectations for them for the future. Have some laughs. Let everyone know that you love each other...

Listen, when we look back on our life, what are we going to remember about the times we spent with our family? That Thanksgiving when dad was looking at the football game and mom was on the phone and the kids and everyone was in their rooms playing video games or on social media?

Or the times everyone spent laughing, talking and smiling with each other?

It’s never easy when someone we love passes away and makes their transition, but it’s even harder when we feel like we didn’t say we loved them enough or spent more quality time with them while we had the chance.

Holidays are a time of joy and being with family! It’s not about being morbid, but you never know if this is going to be the last time. My sincere prayers go out for those especially who are experiencing their first Thanksgiving without a loved one. Let’s not waste this opportunity to really interact with each other and be present while we’re still here. Let’s give each other our roses while we’re still alive. I’ve been in the field of education for well over 15 years now, so I can’t emphasize this point enough: whatever we want our children to do, they have to see us leading the way by doing it ourselves.

So go ahead, take pictures of your food for facebook and the ‘gram then put ‘em away. Turn off the tv. Ask each other how you’re doing. How you’re feeling. Find out how Covid is impacting everyone. Encourage each other. Share some laughs and smiles. Talk about family history. Show gratitude for all your blessings. Tell each other “I love you.”

I pray that the Good Lord blesses you, your family and loved ones with a happy Thanksgiving and many, many more, but… you never know. It could be your last Thanksgiving together.

It’s going to be somebody’s.

Until next time remember, time waits for no man...or woman. So Carpe Diem, my friends, seize the day.